Friday, January 1, 2010

Okay, seriously sick of snow now.

Pain level: 5/6 but most of it is muscular so it's not hard to manage.
Dislocations so far today: none.
Subluxations so far today: Right shoulder multiple times, left shoulder three times,  right wrist once.
Meds: naproxen, hardcore dose.
Major complaint: stiffness and pain all day especially in morning and in my right hand.

I'm ready for May.  Supposed to get another 6-12 inches of snow in the next two days.  UGH.

I'm made of muscle ache today--woke up with feeling like I had pulled my shoulders and most of my  back.  Well, you shoveled, asshole.  Should I expect anything different no matter how little I shoveled?  Bleck.  At least it's a pain that doesn't bother me as much as other ones.

Started my new Naproxen meds today, they don't have a coating like the one's Dr. A gave me, but so far no stomach issues.

My right hand is killing me.  The joints are super stiff and aching all the time and tender to touch.  It hurts to hold M's hand, which is completely unacceptable in my opinion. 

Had a small break in my defenses last night:  I try not to think about how I will be in 10 years, 5 years, 6 months.  It's too fucking scary.  But the new year and how this new achy pain has been has got me even more scared.  Had a small cry and tried to push past it.  I hate the fear I get.  I know, no matter what I'll fight my ass off to live with this and I know M will always be there, but the fear is still there.  I think about arthritis and losing my hands; I'm a writer--I need them to type.  I think about holding M's hand and losing that.  For some reason this scares me more than ending up full time in my wheelchair.  I'm ready to see that Rheumatologist right now.  Ready to know what's going on.  Is this just all the snow?  The cold?  A new symptom of the EDS? Or is it RA?  Why can't I just be Zen about it?

Anyway:  I'm adding a new set of things to keep a log of so I can track the stiffness of my hands.  Might modify this when I see how it seems to be working out.

Hand stiffness using middle finger as a measure.
Time: 5:57 PM
Can touch forearm? Yes.
Angle of extension of center joint of finger: 70º
Angle of extension of last joint of finger: 130º
Can touch forearm? No.
Angle of extension of center joint of finger: 50º
Angle of extension of last joint of finger: 100º

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