Saturday, October 16, 2010

A fear I had

I finally heard back about the lab work I had done last month.  I had called the nurses' line a while back to get my results and the woman literally read me off the abbreviations and the resulting numbers from the tests but couldn't explain them to me besides to say that my liver function was low.  So I had a mini spaz attack and called Dr. K.

Apparently having low liver function actually means that the number that would be high if my liver was failing, is low.  Which usually means you are a smaller person.  (P.S. I'm five foot zero.)  That would have been nice to know.

But everything else is fine.  No anemia, kidneys are holding, all that jazz.  Woohoo!

Anyway, the low blood pressure thing has still been giving me trouble.  Dr. K recommended I talked to my GP about that since it's likely EDS related and gave me the very popular phrase these days, "By now, you probably know more about this than me."

So I was at a friend's reading the other day and I had arrived a tidge late so there weren't any seats left.  I was leaning against the door frame until my back hurt too bad, then I would squat until my legs hurt too much then stand up and lean until my back hurt.  You know, rotating the pain.  And the whole standing after squatting thing is not the best plan when your blood pressure is dropping, what with the room spinning and blurred vision.

I was feeling pretty faint, and I had this fear.  Now fainting in public is something I'm scared of doing in the first place but see, I was standing/squatting next to this college kid sitting in a chair taking notes and I had this fear that I was going faint on him.  Not only that but I was going to faint into this kid's lap, (maybe breaking him--he looked scrawny) and my ass would hit his pen and it would write something in his notebook.  I would write in his notebook with my fainted ass. 

Then this kid would be walking around with some little scribble thing that was written by a fainting girl's ass. 

That was my very specific fear.  And it kept me going.  And I didn't faint.  Which is what I was going for in the first place.

Off tomorrow for a few days with the wifey to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary.   Which is even better than not writing in someone's notebook with an unconscious ass.


  1. Happy Anniversary. See, I think you've got it all wrong here. (This is where I need the sarc-mark!) While fainting in public would certainly be bad, what better way to make up for it than by writing on some scrawny kid's notebook with your ASS?! Come on--if you're going to do it, at least come away from it with a story to tell!! "I fainted in a corner of the hallway and no one noticed" is certainly not as interesting as "In the middle of a dramatic reading, I took out a skinny undergrad and signed his notepad with my butt while I was at it." Being sickly sucks. Look for the perks.

  2. I went to summer camp between grade 5 & 6. While we were singing around a camp fire one night, I had a very cute boy named Erin (I remember that 12 and a half years after the fact) faint and land on me. It was then deemed to be "my job" to take care of him until the camp nurse arrived, and I was to escort him to the nurse's room, and keep him company. It turned out to be a fairly nice meeting, once he was rehydrated.

    And Happy Anniversary!

  3. Thank you both! And I do agree that autographing a stranger during my faint, would have been the only for it to go down successfully.